To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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