It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
