so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize