I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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