She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have fence marks all over my body
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
