Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
