Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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