I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Randomize
