My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about my life...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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