I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize