Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
only if we run a train.
done.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
