this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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