some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I deserve this hangover.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
