I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
