Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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