I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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