how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
