He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
