Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
