I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
