Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
