i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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