Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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