yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She bit a glass in half.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
