Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
