it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
