who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
