I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
