Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Come on in and take your pants off
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