yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Is it penis luge time yet?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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