How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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