look no pants
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
