It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize