Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
