at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
