worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
