i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize