I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
