Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
