Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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