I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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