filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize