if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
