She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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