why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize