hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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