You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
