I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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