The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
