his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
