Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
