youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
