I puked a lego.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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