I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
