hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
