at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
