Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
