do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
