I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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