Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
