My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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