Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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