I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
